You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
