her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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