covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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