my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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