u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
this boner is exhausting
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
