If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
