somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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