Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
