He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can't turn off my feet"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
