so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
