so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
