Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
