No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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