He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
