he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
