Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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