Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize