i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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