it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
