My Higher Power is John Stamos
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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