just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize