I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
