i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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