Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
