my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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