I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
