Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
