I think scott just propositioned me for sex
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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