I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
