is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
