Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
