I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
