if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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