dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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