I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
