Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
