never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
