Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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