ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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