O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do vagina's smell?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize