i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
