I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
