What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize