We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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