Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
