a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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