PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
