bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
