I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
