Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
