I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
