I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
