Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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