After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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