Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
