if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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