That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
