the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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