Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
