he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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