I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
