I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Rumble strips road head = magical
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
ok first of all what the fuck
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
