we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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