Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize