I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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