you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
