then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
