have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
