Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
