i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize