im about as happy as oj after his trial
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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