This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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