Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you had me at cake vodka
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
