it was like eating out sand paper
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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