apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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