That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
