I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
