He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
