what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
