he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
