Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
