But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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